FSL 2.0 Challenge 5: We Interrupt This Broadcast

[Sean]

Greetings my friends. I’m sorry to call on you again, and on such short notice! I have one final mission for you and you team if you are up for it.

It seems that broadcasts travel through space and that we are not the only ones listening. One of our broadcasts recently reached a relay station for a group of unknown aliens. They were a little disgruntled by the interruption of their regularly scheduled star movement update however they enjoyed the program very much and wanted to enact a part of the story with live representatives from our very planet.

The movie? Gladiator.

The aliens in question have brought together a dream team of their own to go against your team in an arena style death-match. You will be beamed to the arena in a few moments to take place in the event of the ages.


Mission Details:

We do have some Intel on the opposing team. You will be facing:

- A Grand-champion Predator hunter from the planet of predators.
- The Slurm Queen
- Skelator from the planet Eternia
- And last but not least, Scorpius from the Farscape galaxy and parts unknown

You can take basic small arms with you as well as any armor you normally wear but nothing else. Period correct blades, pole-arms, nets and shields will be provided to you at the arena.


Also, if you don’t happen to win earth will be destroyed for disrupting the alien’s science channel with non-authorized broadcasting.

Objective:

Destroy them by any means required to get the job done.


Vehicle Asset: Well the good news on this one is that you having the home field advantage won the coin toss your team gets an iron clad hover chariot pulled by mechanical horses will be provided to you when you arrive. They however don't! Soooo... good news!

Good Luck!

Just a note: Earth is in a blackout zone since neither your team nor aliens are supposed to exist. So win or lose no one will know what you do here today.

[EagleCat]

do transformers have to fight in robot mode or can they just be good old transformers? Also, no attached weapons?

[Sean]

I'd say if you can't strip the weapons off without hurting the character (in this case they are part of him) then it's fair game. And hell no, full transform ablility on!

[EagleCat]

sounds good to me. thanks for the ruling because you rule.

[Fenatic]

Earth is in a blackout zone since neither your team nor aliens are supposed to exist. So win or lose no one will know what you do here today.

That's nonsense, we all know what we do in life echoes in eternity.

[Solai]

Team Sideways
Driver: Wash / Tech: Macgyver / Recon: James Bond (Connery) / Martial Artist: The Operative

The underground passage was dark and dank, the stone walls covered in moss. Above them the sound of chanting and pounding of floorboards reverberated punctuated by the clanging of their own ill-fitting armor. Macgyver glanced over at Wash who wore only a loin cloth, a metal shoulder piece held a metal trident.

“Nice look” Macgyver joked. “Ha-ha-ha" Wash replied. "Well, one thing is for sure, this will get pretty interesting” Wash responded. “Define interesting laddie” Bond asked. “Oh god, oh god we are all going to die?” Wash said straight-faced looking at the ceiling.

The Operative peered at the huge metal doors, slits of light seeping through the edges. “How bad can it be?” he asked as the guards roughly shoved them through into blinding light. They covered their eyes with their arms, their noses filled with the smell of sweat, dirt and buttered popcorn. As their eyes adjusted they realized they were in an immense 200,000 seat stadium filled wit aliens who were all calling for their blood.

“PUNY HUMANS!” a voice boomed from the Emperor’s box silencing the throng. “YOU HAVE BEEN BROUGHT HERE FOR CRIMES AGAINST OUR RACE.”

Wash squinted and leaned forward. “That Emperor looks familiar.”

“KILL OR BE KILLED” The Emperor continued.

“Hey, yeah” Macgyver said putting his hand on the Operative’s shoulder. “Isn’t that…”

“YOU WILL NOW KNEEL TO YOUR EMPEROR LUCIUS SEANUS OHARATUM”

“We’re dead” Wash said while another invisible force pushed them down into kneeling position. When they stood back up four creatures were facing them swaying back and forth pounding their feet to the beat of the crowd. A giant worm, a cackling skeleton with a penchant for purple, an armored lizard and an albino who appeared to really be into S&M.

“No, wait, we can do this!” Macgyver said to them pulling them into a huddle and whispered “Guys, the point isn’t to win.” “Uh, I think winning is a good idea. Winning is good. We like winning” Wash said shaking his head. “No, you don’t catch my meaning. All of these missions, we came out on top but we didn’t win. Why?” The team shrugged their collective shoulders. Macgyver sighed and pointed at the Emperor. “Him,” he said as the Emperor sipped on a Dr. Pepper, “he is the one behind all of this. We have been approaching this all wrong. He doesn’t simply want us to solve the problem, but he wants it to be clever, funny and have a sprinkling of meaningful references.” He looked around, “it also helps if we keep it short.”

The team soaked in that information for a moment. “I think you all know what we have to do.” Macgyver held out his hand. The Operative nodded and put his hand on top Macgyver’s with reverence. Wash followed suit and Bond looked at each one of his teammates in the eye. “Gentlemen, it has been an honor” Bond said clapping hand on top. “This is our last hurrah, make it count” Macgyver said, “and, break!” “Hoo-ahh!” they all cried out and turned to face their attackers.

“NOW, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!” The Emperor cried adding only, “<<SEANSCREAM>>”

Wash turned and ran full tilt towards the Predator catching it unprepared. Running past him Wash threw himself into a giant pool of mud. He rolled around quickly slapping the mud all over his body and began taunting the Predator yelling in a ridiculous accent, “Come ON!!! Keel me NOW!!! Ah'm hee-AH!!!” The Predator paused, leapt with incredible strength high in the air and came down directly on top of Wash. Right before landing Wash grabbed his trident and jammed the butt end it into the ground. Gravity being a fickle mistress the Predator screamed unable to change its trajectory and landed on the trident with a dull thwump. Wash slowly stood and looked at The Predator impaled. “I don’t know what that fifth dentist was thinking. Trident kicks ass.” Wash pulled off the Predator's helmet revealing what appeared to be a Rastafarian lizard. “You are one ugly motherfu…” “Hey shut your mouth!” Macgyver called over, “Damn right!” Wash responded.

Meanwhile Bond approached the Slurm Queen confidently. “Where can a fellow get a drink around these parts? I am parched!” The Slurm Queen looked down at the handsome man in the loincloth and blushed. “Oh, I have just the thing!” she cooed. She gritted her teeth for a moment, reached behind her and produced a martini glass of green liquid. Bond took a sip and nodded approvingly. “Shaken, not slurmed.” “Oh, it is slurm, fresh batch too.” the Queen responded blushing. “Really? Remarkable” he said looking into the glass, “I would love to discuss this slurm somewhere, say, more intimate?” The Queen clapped her tiny hands together. “Follow me!” she cried out and began burrowing into the ground creating a tunnel. “Don’t wait up for me laddies!” Bond called out jumped in the hole, “You owe me!”

Macgyver and the Operative faced Skeletor and Scorpius. “What do we do?” The Operative asked aloud drawing his sword. “Clever, funny, references” Macgyver replied. The Operative nodded his head and stepped towards Scorpius.

“Are you, um, feeling hot under the collar?” The Operative stated, clearly uncomfortable. “How would you, sir, like to let off some steam? Bennett?”

Scorpius rolled his eyes impatiently, “Look, I have a better idea. Instead of trying to kill me with your inane prattle why don’t you kill your friend over there and you and I can go out for pizza and margarita shooters?”

The Operative looked perplexed and struggled to say, “Now, this is the plan. Get your ass to Mars.”

“Really?” Scorpius spat out clearly annoyed, “This is the best you can do. Pathetic. You know? Let me save you the effort before you hurt yourself” Scorpius walked over to Skeletor who continued to laugh like a five-year-old girl for no apparent reason. “You my friend are a waste of space” he declared and pulling out a gun blew Skeletor’s head off.

“Wait, you have a gun?” Macgyver exclaimed looking down at his dagger. Turning towards Emperor Lucius Seanus Oharatum he cried, “Majesty! This one has a gun!” The Emperor roared his disproval and slammed his hand down causing an invisible force to squash Scorpius like a bug. The Emperor’s trusted advisor Talat leaned over and asked with doggy breath, “What happened to Scorpius?" The Emperor turned to meet his gaze, “I let him go.”

Silence filled the air as 200,000 aliens paused in shock. Dust from the arena hung in the air. Somewhere a dog barked. From a corner up in the nosebleeds a murmur began. The murmur grew and spread quickly becoming a chant. Bond climbed out the hole covered in slurm and looked a little worse for wear. “What is going on?” he asked wishing he had a towel. As the chant grew it became clear what the crowd saying:

“SIDE-WAYS”
“SIDE-WAYS”
“SIDE-WAYS”

The Operative now in the spirit held up his hands and shouted out, “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?”

Pandemonium ensued. The chant of “SIDE-WAYS, SIDE-WAYS” continued as the crowd stood up on its feet and applauded uproariously. The crew smiled to themselves. Gripping each other’s hands they held them aloft and in unison took a deep bow.

Talat took in the scene and walked over to the Emperor. “Time to go?” Talat asked.

“We’ll be back.” The Emperor replied.

[Starsaber]

Will our enemies be restricted to the same small arms/basic armor rule?

Also, what about non-weapon equipment our teams usually have with them (i.e. tricorder)?

[Sean]

Will our enemies be restricted to the same small arms/basic armor rule?

Also, what about non-weapon equipment our teams usually have with them (i.e. tricorder)?

1. Yep. I think it only fitting.

2. Yes but nothing too big like entire work stations or vehicles. Small tech can go as well.

[Omra]

Pilot- Corran Horn (X Wing Book Series)
Recon- Predator 'Preddie' (Predator franchise)
Tech- Henry Deacon (Eureka)
Martial Artist- Raizo (Ninja Assasin-movie)

Build it and they will come.... or else!

or

The World Sear-ez 2010

A series of trumpet blasts sounded above the dust and smoke filled arena, and a flashing sign indicated the 15 minute mark had been reached. Below the hovering particulates a battle raged, with each explosion and gunshot the watching crowd reacted with cheers ... or jeers.

The chariot swerved and narrowly negotiated between two giant icicles which fell into its path from the artificially created storm above, Henry nervously cast his eyes about the hectic battlefield around him, “I am a scientist, not a bloody Ben Hur…” Corran was deflecting blaster bolts from Scorpius as he struggled to get close enough for a strike, and Raizo was dodging shots of flying Slurm as he struggled to close in on the hovering Skeletor who seemed to derive a great deal of pleasure out of harassing Henry with elemental magic attacks. Which seriously messed with Henry’s logical and scientific mind, he looked around and frowned, “Where the Hell is Preddie?”

A giant hand made out of earth rose out of the ground in front of the speeding chariot, Henry’s eyes grew wide and he urged the biomechanical horses to change course as he loudly chanted, “Magic does not exist, magic does not exist!” The earthen hand narrowly missed the chariot but the hasty maneuver sent the hover chariot into a nasty skid which kicked up a huge dust cloud. The settling dust revealed where the two Predators had been hiding all this time, Henry looked down at the two sitting Predators, “Weeeeeell, there you are. What are you two up too?” Exposed the two shut off their cloaking fields and gave him an annoyed look, they both had their wallets out had apparently been sharing photos of some nature with each other.

He gave them a scolding look, “Really! You’re both going to just sit this out? You know your teams are going to be penalized for this right? Don’t you care?” The armored hunters both looked at each other, and then back at Henry; and nonchalantly shrugged. No sooner had he mentioned it, buzzers went off and the scoreboard reflected points being removed. And the arena floor began to rumble and all of the ‘safe zones’ retracted into the floor and sections of the playing field went dark, while others produced obstacles. Henry pierced Preddie with a fierce glare, “Happy now!?”

The two hunters leaned close and seemed to be conferring on something when a hate filled shriek erupted in the distance, which was quickly followed by a giant ball of thick congealed Slurm striking the elder Predator. The Slurm Queen cackled and was about to launch into a hysterical diatribe but never got the opportunity, the Master Hunter’s targeting system locked onto her in the blink of an eye. And near instantaneously converted her into a sticky sweet smelling green cloud with a lethal strike from his shoulder cannon. Horns blared triumphantly and the crowd’s loud cheers turned into disappointed ‘aaaaaah's’ as the arenas environmental systems started sucking the intoxicating vapors away. Henry’s eyes were torn from the changing scoreboard by a combination of his horses nervous whinnying and Raizo scolding him though his earpiece, “What did I tell you about staying in one place too long!?”

A startled gasp escaped his lips when Henry turned and saw the skull faced mage standing in front of his chariot, it leaned forward and grasped the heads of his first two horses with his hands. Their heads exploded into a shower of polymers and sparks, it grinned in glee as the horses slumped lifelessly to the ground and its malevolent laughter sent shivers down the eccentric mechanic's spine. Henry shoved the collective for the gravity coils as far as it would go and the chariot rose like a rocket a 100 meters into the air. The two live dangling horses protested loudly and thrashed about causing the chariot to rock back and forth, he leaned over the railing to tell them to calm down and saw a chilling sight. Skeletor was climbing up the rigging towards him, the cheesy organ music pouring from the announcer’s box and the rhythmic cheers which accompanied the electronic strands of music made the scene truly macabre. He apologized to the horses, “Sorry guys,” and pulled the release pin for the rigging.

Below the ‘Master Hunter’ Predator was arguing with a referee when he noticed the ground around him getting darker by the second, he looked up just in time to see the two dead and two very frightened horses plummeting toward him. He barely managed to utter a curse just before he was flattened by them; the rowdy crowd was treated once more to another shower of green fluids that night. Cheers rose high into the night air as an announcer whose voice sounded disturbingly like Richard Dawson's worked the fans lke a pro, celebratory animations danced on the myriad display screens as electronica music rhythmically pounded overhead.

Henry slowly lowered his chariot and was greeted by a disturbing sight, a hovering Skeletor. It taunted him, “One does not so easily kill the leader of the Dark Legions, I am a master of the Dark Ar *urk*,” a chain snaked out of the darkness and wrapped around the throat of the warlord cutting off his threatening monologue. At the other end Raizo firmly grasped the chain and jumped off of the escapement he had been standing on, when his full weight pulled the chain taught Skeletor’s head popped off like a champagne cork. The headless body plummeted to the arena floor and when it struck and shattered colorful candy and small festive toys spewed from the hollow body. (Who knew?)

Corran came strutting over cradling Scorpius’s head, Raizo looked over while holding his ivory prize, “Oh, you got one too?” he beamed. Corran and Raizo set the heads down facing each other so they could talk to one other, and as they were leaving they overheard the beginnings of an argument between them over which of them had the more dramatic death scene.

As the chariot settled onto the floor of the arena Henry was greeted by a Predator covered from head to foot with green glowing bodily fluids, its eyes smoldered. Henry meekly offered, “About your friend… I hope your not ang- *gurk*” In one smooth motion Henry’s coveralls were torn from his body and used to towel off the iridescent blood. After an awkward nervous pause he started to comment, “Ow…….., that hur-*squitch*” it was cut short by now soggy coveralls flung into and now wrapping around his face. He could hear a slow gravely chuckle through the blood soaked denim.

Corran and Raizo shook their heads, “Predator humor…”

[peterallison]

Team: PETE (Persons Engineered for Tactical Espionage)
Recon: Jack Bauer
Tech: David Levinson
Martial Artist: Jimmy Tong
Pilot: Snake Plisken

Snake Plisken steps into the arena facing the four aliens at once.
Snake Plissken: I'm gonna give you assholes a chance. What do you say we play a little Bangkok Rules?
Snake picks up a tin can. The four aliens back up and get ready.
Snake Plissken: Nobody draws until this hits the ground.
Snake throws the can high into the air, pulls his revolvers and kills all four aliens before the can lands.
The can hits the ground.
Snake Plissken: Draw.